The Resistance.

Yesterday when I was getting high… You were invited. You would have liked it. I know you all too well. We said that we can kiss the past goodbye, but you weren’t excited. There’s no way to fight it. You can stay, but here I go. Should I spend the weekend in Vegas? I’m busy living the moment not taking pictures to save it. I mean how could I forget? My memories never faded. I can’t relate to you haters. My enemies never made it. I am… still here with who I started with. This game needed life and I put my heart in it. I blew myself up, I’m on some martyr shit. Carried the weight for my friends like a cargo ship. Yeah, I’m 23 with a money tree. Growing more too, I just planted 100 seeds. It’s ironic cause my mother was a florist and thats how she met my pops and now my garden is enormous. It’s happening Penny Lane. Just like you said I avoided the Coke game and went with Sprite instead. I’m trying to do better than good enough!
What am I afraid of? This is what dreams are supposed to be made of. The people I don’t have time to hang with, always look at me and say the same shit. "You promised me you would never change". Am I wrong for making light of my situation? Now that I’m on, I don't want to worry about getting back on. I’m just trying to stay on and get my fucking buffet on. I heard they just moved my grandmother to a nursing home and I be acting like I don’t know how to work a phone but hit redial you’ll see that I just called some chick I met at the mall, that I barely know at all and plus this women that I messed with unprotected just text me saying she wish she would have kept it. The one I’m laying next to just looked over and read it. I couldn’t tell you where the fuck my head is. I’m holding on by a thread, its like I’m high right now and you can tell by looking at my eyes right now. That nothing really comes as a surprise right now. Cause we having the time of our lives right now, right?
 I live by some advice this girl _______ told me. The other day _______ told me she missed the old me. Which made me question when I went missing and when I started treating my friends different. Maybe it was the fast pace switch up. Maybe cause the girl I fucking trusted set the whole shit up. I know, the same time, I’m quick to forget. I'm about to roll a blunt with my list of regrets. Burn it all, I’m starting it fresh because half the time I got it right, I probably guessed. Did I just trade free time for camera time? Yeah, I just need some closure, ain't no turning back for me. I’m in it til it’s over.

Love,
S