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I feel like I'm just so far gone and sometimes I feel like saying "Please leave me alone.". The other night I was drunk off champagne and I was screaming in the phone, then this came to me. See my house is not a home. What the fuck is going on? Where did we go wrong? Where do we belong? I was caught up in the game and it's one I can't postpone. Meaning that if it rains, I'm the one it's raining on. Still nothing is set in stone. Girls borrow sweaters that I spray with my cologne and then they tell me don't forget 'em and I promise that I won't. Now I'm feeling so distant from everyone I've known and to make everybody happy I think I would need a clone. It's only been 3 years, look at how I've grown. I guess I'm just in my zone. I'd call this shit "The Calm". Yea, but see I'm the furthest thing from calm. I'm dedicated to _______, and I swear my word is bond. Everything will be okay and it won't even take that long. You can see it in my face or even read it on my palm. I feel like I'm sitting in a chair but in the future it'll be a throne and listen, I know you like to worry but it'll be better if you don't and I apologize to you for putting you in this position and vent to you but my mother always said, "Don't ask permission, just ask forgiveness". So forgive me. And life, right now, is so insane. Look what I've become. All my first dates are interrupted because every picture taken is a friend that you can gain. They love it when you smile; unaware that it's a strain. It's a curse I gotta live with. Women need attention therefore women will complain, develop hatred for men and say that you're the one to blame. I just wish you all knew how much it really Wade like Dwayne. It's a weight that's on my chest whoever's spotting me is playing. So I'm lifting all alone try not to get a sprain. I hope Western Union is doing currency exchange because my dad called and got me feeling guilty and ashamed and he's paying for his cigarettes with dollars and some change. Damn, and I could only feel his pain. So I'm filling out the form at the counter once again. He says he loves me, I just hope he doesn't say that shit in vain. I'm why _____'s heart is in a sling. Call me heartbreak Skott, I'm the hardest one to tame. As a man I'm just honest, as a writer, I'm a king, with my own set of problems that be sitting on my brain and see this is the thing… What you view as bragging is the way that I maintain and it's the single handed reason I remain. Me.

I swear I'm putting on, but they always wanna ask "What type of act you putting on?" like... Man.

Love,
S